i know

it's just that it's a terror
forces me to flinch
and behind my eyes i still
shake
but i think that you can see that.
perceptive in your musings.
i just can't let this go, not now,
and if i pull too far away,
i'm lost, more terrified than ever.
i'm holding, i'm relishing you,
and i am trembling.
standing still.
there are no promises, no certainties,
i know,
and i'm wandering in the day to day,
it's just that i can't be broken,
not again. and it's a terror,
an idiocy,
but if i pull too far away...

i'm holding.