Call you up, in the middle of the night...

i can tell i've woken him, and i'm surprised he'd been asleep at all.
he sounds far away and husky, just like always. never changes.
after i spill it out, barely breathing, words like quicksilver,
he's quiet for a bit:
"have you spoken to Jonas? or the Captain? they'd be able to help you better than i can..."
he's quiet for a while.
"i'm not so sure we'll be speaking for a while anyway."
i say that's a good thing, that hopefully, he's right.
"you should call the Captain, he'll help."
i tell him that the Captain's out on sail, wrangling up the last of the Narwhals, he won't be back for a while, and besides, i can't talk to him again until i've sailed alone.
"then talk to Jonas," he says. "tell him what you told me. i don't understand why you're calling me..."
i tell him i've already been to visit Jonas, and that he did, in fact, help me.
"so why call me? what good does this do?"
i'm quiet for a moment, and i tell him, slowly:
"Meridian is not my name."
there is a click,
and the line is dead.
i feel sick.