Space of a Measure

excuse me,
i think i've floundered a bit.
i got to talking then i slipped a little far down
from where i started.
i thought that maybe we could trade some thoughts,
[you like me a little better when i laugh],
and every time i think of you i start to cough. [something like that]
the thing is is that i've come this far,
not sure where i am, but that i've grown out of my seedling-gown
is obvious.
and it took me a while, i know, to get past the curves and the traps [that i've set up for myself].
and i've thought about it
and i've finally forgiven those
that i've built into demons and plagues [and really weren't we all just learning the steps?].
and the more i walk the more it sets in
that most
of what i've forgiven wasn't mine to forgive
wasn't only the picture i had painted

and i think i've found a new frame.

and i don't think that now
i walk any faster than i did then,
but i'm a little more careful
of what i step on and what i step over,
and sometimes i think of you
and hope it's okay.
i hope it's okay.

you know i hope you're just
fine.

and if it counts for anything
i think that i'd say
you never really hurt me more than i could handle,
[though i forced the blood sometimes, didn't i?]
and i think we scarred each other equally sometimes.

so it's sort of a goodbye [in ways]
but the bud never really forgets
the seed,
it only climbs
and
someday scatters.

[you know i hope it's okay]