learned behavior

it's just a free-form in the littlest spaces,
that number you can't recall or count to,
it's nothing so much as what you shape it as,
to fit the place inside your palm.
you can keep it, and it feels warm.
i learn to drop the rest,
the un-important that i have come to trust.
and it's the lack of intuition that i mis-trust,
the threat of precedence,
the thorns of mis-speak.
i will say that i am not afraid, am not afraid,
but it's not all honesty from my lips.
i am shaken by the thought of slipping,
of cataclysm,
of detachment from the grip i've got.
but it won't bring me down. [won't bring me down]
not like before,
and i've learned a few more things,
and i never swallow the seeds, anymore.
[nothing. so much as what i shape it as]