Just like that

clambered out this morning, jumped out and into
my serious-skin, put on a sweet face and headed into the gloom.
thought about your words back when, your jumbles and precisions
and your articulations when you wanted them.
thought we were one thing, you thought the other, and then it just sort
of sorted out, and here we are.
one there and without the other.
and we could maybe go grab a bite to eat sometime
at the chinese place of our nights, but i don't think you'd want to see me now
or the other way around.
picked up the phone, dialed my mother,
she said things are all fine, another lie, and hit my head 5 times
to shake some screws loose. they didn't loosen.
when i got down to where i was headed, turned the corner, and parked my car
shut my door, just like i always do, and tried to walk away,
my shoelaces (come undone) catch themselves in the door, and jerk me back, hold me. can't walk away just yet.
just like it always is.
think i'll call you up some day and say hello, ask you how you've been and are you
still living all alone inside, up there?