Captain, my captain..

said he couldn't paste it all together for me. i wouldn't budge, and everytime, i sunk some more. deep down, slip under it. said i should build my own boat, in the thick of it. i cry that i have no paddles, no sails, no wind, and nothing nothing. he tells me i have been on land too long, that i should have known, "to swim is not enough. but to sail, to sail my boy, is just the trick, and only the beginning. "
that i should look out for pirates seemed a given. they distract, he says, distort, hand out gold. i said that i hadn't the breath for this, would tire before i reached the other shore. the blue can be a welcome blanket, a divider, this and that, and that is all i wanted. couldn't he see? couldn't he, with his spy-glass, spy that i was to inevitably drown? he cocks his head to one side, back again, and before the storm broke in its thundery-fullness, "who said anything about a shore, lad? to swim is not enough, but to sail, to sail my boy, is just the trick........and puzzles puzzles everywhere."

"why no one will help me/I am too dumb, I am too smart/they'll not understand me/I am lonely/They'll hate me/and there is not enough time/it's too hard to help me/and God wants me to work/no resting, no lazy"

"Work me lord, work me lord. Please don't you leave me, I feel so useless down here.."

"When I grow up I'll be stable. When I grow up I'll turn the tables.."