Enfant Terrible

tried to reveal what i could see,
and it's strange [wouldn't let me go].
to see this secretly, to lay with it
turning in my head was too much.

i fell out of step,
and the slopes here are steep and slickery.
i can see the water for miles,
dark and stretching in a yawn.

the lighthouse searches,
and there is no ship in sight.
there is something in the gull's distant cry.
meridian is not my name.

A Separate Affair

from out of that frame,
i think if i didn't kill myself trying to get into you,
{what you are thinking}
it could be a separate affair.
and i still can't find the track,
but wonder
is it okay,
am i strapped into the right car? [buckled down]

and i don't understand,
from out of that frame,
strict connections and it happens, and it's already on the plate,
but you don't understand that i'll never understand
and it's really just a slip,
from that frame,
and i can keep a secret like you do,
distance-induced.

i discover most things at leisure,
and find that it's startling if looked at from the right angle,
in just the right way,
but i don't understand that you'll never understand.
and i wonder
is it okay?
am i strapped into the right car? [buckled down]

Unfolding

losing,
finding my way home [there is a terrible silence]
and all of my thoughts come undone

- but i can't go [when i want to]
- and i can't go [and i want to]

finding my way through the winding ways,
like rainy haze [there is a terrible silence]
and all of my patterns unravel

- but i can't go
- and i can't go

it's a bitter misunderstanding
a simple destruction,
and i should know i've counted on you here.
i feel cold, this is a shift - we crystalize.

it's been years, moments, seconds, time-uneven
- like rainy haze [there is a terrible silence]
and all of my thoughts come undone.

it's a joke.
this is a kingdom on hold.

When It's All For the Best

you said that it's all for the best,
that it's just what i needed
[the last word - even over my own]
and i couldn't argue.

when i left for a while,
it wasn't taken lightly, and i didn't know
how to sweeten it for you [or anyone]
and no one understood [understands]
and i'll just float on, resembling what i was
and what i know, what i've always said.

i never came back [never came back]
-you decided this
-you didn't catch it all in time
-you decided this
i never came back [never came back]

it'll all be okay
i'll be just fine
we'll be okay
-you decided this [and you decided this?]

i'll trickle out, one by one [all my voices]
they drip out and walk away,
slow steps.
lamenting, it isn't so much as what you think
or what i make it out to be [maybe]
but i'm alone [i'm alone alone alone]
and there's a light on somewhere.

and it'll all be okay
i'll be just fine
-you decided this [and you decided this?]

still, you're all i see

it could be like a page from one of those books,
when i think of it,
outside the coffee-shop, and i'm sipping slow,
so i don't burn my tongue,
and then you're there,
and i can't do much more than linger.

i'll think of things, and words that i might say
but i'll keep quiet and watch you pass.

it could be sweet,
chocolate kisses in a cold flat,
or leaning on your car,
and i might ask you to meet me
at Savoy, and i could steal your breath,
your lips [no distractions].

we might light up a room,
in a place we've never been,
and we might never have met before,
but we might make memories -
buttercream on your lips, is sweet.

if i had it my way,
and if i didn't dream and sit, watching,
slowly sipping so that i don't burn my tongue.

Paramour: Between the Sunrise

scared of tendrils here,
lovers trying,
swift adventures hiding,
fire halos skyward,
human mistakes - the little things -
throw our arms to sea,
in a sense,
breathe [believe]
deep without lights.
elective injuries saw us farther
than ever before -
curious in a sense -
lips that are fire, tender heart, illuminated.

Nzinga

i could watch it, like a wall,
hidden and tapestried,
blocking the space between.
dawn as my witness,
i whispered heresies,
like so much spindled light, flowing,
silk-like.
[who will hear them?]
tests of faith, of power -
in the far-skies, calculating, there is an angry god.

Saharan flowers, they crumble,
they stain, also.
i have seen them, [a multitude, a host]
storm the coast, they have penetrated,
and we are no longer virgin.
with my last breaths
i defy,
i resolve,
i release.
with my last breath
i have let go.